Often, I wish I could reach back over time and whisper to my small 13-year-old self-it's going to be okay, don't be afraid. In the end, it will be alright. I obviously can't do that, so I have created no more fake smiles, as suffering in silence is no longer an option. If you have come here, you are looking for knowledge, help and understanding. You may be a current victim looking for a way out, a supportive friend worried about someone or a concerned parent. You are someone who cares, which is perfect because I care too!

Throughout my experience of years of abuse at the hands of my stepfather, I felt so isolated, disconnected and like I could not relate to one person on the entire planet. I felt alone. I lived my life in fear and was silenced by this. I coped by living with a constant fake smile. From the outside, I was the perfect child, a part of a great Aussie family. I had great friends, played multiple sports and attended a prestigious school. I looked like any other teenage girl but did not feel like one.

When you're young, and some things aren't going quite right in your life, you expect your parents or someone around to know what's happening. They know about everything else in your life, even though you try to keep some things secret, so why would they not know this big, horrible secret?

That's where I went wrong.

I acted 'normal', putting on my fake smile every morning before I left my bedroom. I was waiting for everyone to see the 'help me' in my smile that I thought I was so clearly expressing. I expected the people around me to know what was going on or ask me, "Hey, what happened last night? Are you okay?" I was waiting for someone to put an end to it. You might express signs that seem obvious to you but are often ignored by others. This is why you must stand up and free yourself. I know this sounds challenging but don't overthink, take a deep breath and roll with it as your life will change for the better (if I could do it, I know you sure can).

Through growth, understanding and reflection of my own experience, I have created this safe space, one I dreamt of finding throughout my years of abuse. Throughout my teens, I was an assertive, alert 'forward thinker' similar to many of you but was trapped by fear, under the impression that no one would believe me because he was loved and respected by so many. This impression was completely untrue!

So, if you are a parent reading this, a mandatory reporter, a friend or this is happening or has happened to you, you must act, speak up and not be afraid as child sexual abuse is not okay - speak out!

Annie xx